Writing your thoughts down makes it easier to start a conversation with your spouse than talking face-to-face right away. For example: “It’s been a tough year, but I believe in us. Let’s move forward with open hearts and high hopes for the future!” If “I love you” doesn’t feel honest right now, think about why you’re grateful for your spouse and thank them for their best qualities. For example: “You are the best parent our kids could ever ask for! I appreciate the dedication and care you give them. Happy anniversary!” Write her a card apologizing for your mistakes and listing all the things you love about her. [3] X Expert Source Lia Huynh, LMFTLicensed Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 5 May 2022.
Turn reflection into a fun activity by making an anniversary book. Grab some photos and scrapbooking supplies, or make one and print it online if you prefer.
For example, take a cooking class or learn to salsa dance together. If you’re feeling especially daring, take life by the horns and go sky diving, or splurge on a hot air balloon ride. The more exciting, the better. Think about something your spouse would really like, whether that’s a puppy, a candlelit dinner at home, or a bouquet of flowers. [6] X Expert Source Michelle JacobyMatchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.
It might also help turn your marriage in a healthier direction. Some couples get into routines and forget to keep the romance going in their marriage. Go on dates and woo each other just as much as you did when you were dating!
It’s okay if you can’t recreate the honeymoon exactly. Do what you can and focus on getting quality time with your spouse. It’s the effort that counts!
Try camping or a remote couples’ retreat. It can be calming to spend time in nature, away from the outside world’s distractions. Plan a trip to a city you’ve never visited before but always wanted to. Spend your anniversary out adventuring with your spouse! Do something romantic, like going on a wine-tasting tour or enjoying a day at a festival. You could even get plane tickets and go on a destination vacation if you have the means. Spend time relaxing at a resort or on a warm beach.
If you talk to them about your marriage, a confidante can also offer you perspectives that you might not think of by yourself.
When planning a celebration, ask yourself what’s important to your spouse. [13] X Expert Source Lia Huynh, LMFTLicensed Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 5 May 2022. Do something you both enjoy and spend time together. So long as you’re trying to make it a good day for both of you, you’re doing great. [14] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Do something meaningful that shows there is some hope for the relationship. [15] X Expert Source Lia Huynh, LMFTLicensed Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 5 May 2022.
It can be tough to celebrate an anniversary when you’re in the middle of a conflict with your spouse, but remember that trying to force a solution to a problem might just make it worse.
Pick a therapist you both feel comfortable opening up to emotionally. Approach therapy with open minds. Fixing a bad marriage with therapy requires dedication and vulnerability from both spouses.
Your spouse isn’t responsible for your happiness—you are! If you’re unhappy, then it’s up to you to either communicate your needs to your spouse so you can both make changes in the marriage or move on if that proves impossible.
