“Thanks again for making dinner last night. That food was so good, I’m surprised you haven’t had any formal training. ” “You bought me flowers? That’s so sweet! You are so thoughtful and kind. ”
“That’s not exactly how I interpreted it, but we can agree to disagree. ” “I think we got our wires crossed here. Can we start over?” Unfortunately, people with NPD don’t like apologizing, either. Even if they owe you an apology, it’s better just to move on instead of insisting they say “I’m sorry. ”
“How do you feel about that?” “How are you feeling today?” “Is this too much for you?”
If your partner has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, they may be able to change some of their ways with therapy. However, that’s a long process, and it can take a while for any changes to be made.
You can also use sarcasm or humor to defuse the situation. Saying things like, “Wow,” or, “Nice one,” when someone insults you can really take the wind out of their sails.
Part of this may include keeping good news to yourself. For instance, if you tell your partner that you got a raise, they might get defensive and wonder why they themselves aren’t making more money (instead of being happy for you).
“If you yell at me or call me names again, I’m going to walk away. ” “Snooping through my phone isn’t okay. If you feel like I’m being dishonest, talk to me about it instead of going behind my back. ”
Let’s say your partner wants to move to the city, but you’re happy living where you are. Advocate for your own needs, and make it clear that you won’t move just to make your partner happy. This goes for small things, too. If your partner wants sushi for dinner but you hate seafood (and they know it), don’t let it slide. Advocate for yourself and get something that you actually like.
Want a career change? Make a plan to go back to school. Want to pick up a new hobby? Sign up for a class at your local community center. Want to make more friends? Join a club or a group near you.
Being in a relationship with someone who has NPD can be very difficult at times. If you’re struggling, consider talking to a mental health professional. [14] X Expert Source Jay Reid, LPCCLicensed Professional Clinical Counselor Expert Interview. 7 August 2020.
Be sure to talk to people who really understand you and won’t judge you. If you don’t want to leave your partner, talking about what you’re going through might make other people upset on your behalf.
“Have you ever thought about going to therapy? I think you might find that it really helps with your anxiety and stress. ” “It might be helpful for you to talk to someone. You could tell them about what you’re going through and see if they have any advice for you. ”