Treat everyone with respect regardless of their gender, race, or class. No modern gentleman looks down on others for coming from a different background! “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” is a great mantra for a modern gentleman.
Feel free to make this your own. “I appreciate it,” “You’re the best,” and, “You’re so kind,” are all solid ways to say thanks without coming off as too formal! This is especially important when it comes to service workers. Instead of just rattling off your order at the restaurant, greet your server by saying, “Hey! How’s your day going?” and don’t forget to thank them after they’ve taken your order. The way you treat strangers who serve you says a lot![3] X Research source
Be punctual and never show up late if you can avoid it. Don’t curse in front of strangers, and avoid raising your voice in public unless someone is having trouble understanding you. Table manners are a key part of being a modern gentleman. Keep your elbows off of the table and never reach out over anyone to grab the salt! Avoid being overly informal with people. There’s nothing wrong with calling someone “dude” or “mate,” but it isn’t especially gentlemanly.
A lot of people spend a majority of their time doing things for themselves. A true gentleman cares about everyone! Whether it’s volunteering for a good cause or just being nice to strangers, aim to make the world a better place.
You don’t need to look a certain way—you can absolutely be a bearded fellow with a goth wardrobe and still be a gentleman—but you should be mindful of how you present yourself. A lot of guys don’t moisturize or exfoliate at all. Take care of your skin! Invest in a quality cologne. How you smell is a large part of the impression you make on others.
The famous adage comes to mind here: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. ” If you want to be a good man, do something![8] X Research source
This isn’t to say that you should sacrifice time, money, or energy to help others if you can’t do it. You should still take care of yourself; just try to help others whenever you can.
A modern gentleman should be able to hold their own at a cocktail party or on a dinner date. Even if you don’t consider yourself particularly “academic,” at least you’ll be able to hold an interesting conversation if you know a thing or two!
It’s a little old school, but getting a newspaper subscription is a great way to stay up on local news. You’ll get to support a good local paper while you’re at it! It’s easy to get beat down with all the negativity out there. If it gets a little too depressing to keep reading the news, take a break.
This is especially important when it comes to interacting with potential dating partners. A lot of men out there aren’t particularly kind or respectful in this arena, so be the change you want to see in the world. [13] X Research source
Ever hear the phrase “water off of a duck’s back”? It’s a good mantra for gentlemen anywhere. Don’t let problems rattle or upset you to the point that you act out. Even if you’re hurting inside in the moment, swallow your pride and process the feeling in private.
Always tip well—especially when you’re at a business you regularly visit. If you’re in the United States, aim to always tip 15-20%. Know a barber, florist, and jeweler. You’re sure to raise some eyebrows if you can rattle off a recommendation for a fresh shave, fancy centerpiece, or watch salesman! You’ll never feel cooler than you do when you get to say, “I know a guy. ” If you’re over 21, find a hidden gem in the bar department. It could be a secretive speakeasy, a basement whiskey bar, or a trendy rooftop spot that makes fancy cocktails. If co-workers are looking for a spot to grab a drink or your date wants to grab a nightcap, you’ll be the slick guy with the cool recommendation!
