Although extreme grief often feels like it will last forever, it won’t. Know that in time your feelings will be more manageable.
Read out loud what you write in your journal, too. In many break-up cases, frustration and anger come from not being seen, heard, valued, and respected. You’ll feel a lot better if you take time to express and listen to yourself. [4] X Expert Source Kate DreyfusHolistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 22 November 2021. At the end of a relationship, you might be tempted to idealize your partner. It might feel petty, but write down the qualities about them that you don’t like—remember that this journal is just for you. Breakups are a good time to reflect on what you’ve learned. What has this relationship taught you about yourself, and what lessons can you take away from it? Keep journaling after the break-up, too—it’s a good way to help process your healing. [5] X Expert Source Kate DreyfusHolistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 22 November 2021.
Be sure that you’re talking to people who you can trust to keep information confidential. You don’t want your partner hearing about your feelings from someone other than you. If you feel comfortable doing so, talking to total strangers can also be a good idea. If you meet someone you click with, try opening up to them—they might have some helpful advice for you.
If you’re struggling to think about how you’d like to fill your time, try asking your friends what they like doing. If they mention something that sounds interesting to you, ask if you can tag along next time.
Be sure to spend some time every day doing something just for you, whether that means taking a long bath, taking a walk, or curling up with a book. Meditation, yoga, and mindfulness exercises are also great ways to practice self-care and keep yourself mentally strong.
For example, if you and your partner normally talk to each other at night to wind down after a day at work, see if there’s a friend or family member who’d be willing to do the same with you. Or, if you and your partner are fitness buddies, find a new workout partner at work or at your gym. Routines help you feel safe, grounded, and organized. Plus, they help you feel like there’s some level of order in your life, which is really valuable. [13] X Expert Source Kate DreyfusHolistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 22 November 2021.
If you’re worried that your partner is going to make a scene, try breaking up with them in a public location. If you live separately from your partner, and you can trust them to keep their emotions under control, it’s a good idea to break up with them at their house. That way, you can leave once you’ve said everything you needed to.
Writing a letter to your ex and not sending it Removing all the photos you have of your ex in your home and on social media Burning reminders of your ex in a ceremonial way
If you’re struggling to stay no contact, remind yourself that this is only temporary. After a month, if both you and your partner feel comfortable with it, you can revisit your relationship as casual friends. Use this time to refocus on yourself and what’s next. [18] X Expert Source Kate DreyfusHolistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer Expert Interview. 22 November 2021.
Letting someone know up front that you just got out of a relationship and want to take things slow is a good idea. This can prevent feelings from getting hurt. When meeting someone new, you can say something like: “I’m really excited to meet you. I want to let you know that I just got out of a relationship, and I’m looking to keep things slow or casual. ”
Try taking yourself out on dates—whether it’s to a movie that you’re excited about or a restaurant that you always wanted to try, enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever it is you’d like. Step outside your comfort zone by picking up a new hobby. If you’ve always wanted to try a cooking or art class, now is your chance.
