If you’re hesitant about doing church activities with him, don’t expect him to just give up. Instead, he’ll likely shift to a more long-range strategy, focusing on praying for you and building up a relationship in hopes that you’ll change your mind over time. If you want to show that you’re interested in him, beat him to the punch and invite him to a church event!
This doesn’t mean you need to have all the answers—it’s a good sign if you have struggles and questions and an acceptance that there’s more for you to learn, feel, and understand. This shows you’re open to growth. Don’t let yourself feel like you’re being quizzed or interrogated. Just share your thoughts and feelings in a way that’s comfortable for you, and ask him questions of your own. Asking thoughtful questions is a clear sign of genuine interest. “Players” won’t take the time to get to know your values and what’s important to you. [3] X Expert Source Jan & Jillian YuhasRelationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
If you come from a similar faith tradition as him, he’ll be looking for a compatibility between what you say you believe and how you live what you believe. Alternatively, if you come from a different (or no) religious background, he’ll likely want to see if you act in ways that are at least generally compatible with his beliefs.
It’s also possible that he’s confiding in you because you’ve become a close friend—but not a romantic interest. So don’t rely on this alone as clear a sign that he likes you romantically.
The more comfortable you are being yourself and loving yourself, the more attractive you’ll be to guys. Even more importantly, being comfortable in your own skin is essential to your physical and emotional wellbeing. He’s more likely to see you as a long-term partner when you confidently know your worth, share your vulnerabilities, have aspirations in life, possess great listening skills, and make quality time for the connection to grow. [8] X Expert Source Jan & Jillian YuhasRelationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
It’s okay to drop hints and wait for him to ask you out, but it’s just as okay for you to take the initiative and ask him out. If you’re ready to ask him out, keep it simple and straightforward: “Jake, would you like to go out to lunch with me on Saturday?”
Pray about what you’re feeling and for guidance about how to approach things with the guy. Look for signs that he’s a genuinely Godly person—that he truly tries to explore his faith, live his faith, share his faith, and make amends when he falls short of his faith.
“Hey, you changed your hairstyle a little. It looks very nice that way. ” “Last week you mentioned you had a dental appointment that you weren’t looking forward to. How did that end up going?” “That’s a nice new cover you got for your Bible. Where did you find that one?”
He might, for instance, use a physical compliment to lead into a deeper compliment about how you practice your faith: “You look great today—you’re glowing! It’s obvious how much fulfillment you get from teaching the second-grade Sunday school class. ” If you’re interested in him, too, try giving compliments that similarly go beyond just his good looks: “You look cool in that K-LOVE t-shirt! I heard that you interned at the radio station last summer—that’s a really great way to share your faith. ”
Everyone likes getting positive feedback, so compare how he reacts to your positive feedback versus that from other people. If he seems happy when other people thank him but ecstatic when you do it, that’s a strong signal! To give effective positive feedback in the form of a compliment, be specific and direct: “Cal, you did a great job doing the Old Testament reading during yesterday’s service. You read with enthusiasm and did a great job pronouncing all those tricky names!”
He might not openly strive for your recognition like some other guys you may have come across, but you’ll probably notice an extra glint in his eye when you show any sign of being impressed.
Especially if you come from outside his faith tradition, he may worry that you think a religious guy like him is serious all the time. In that case, he may try even harder to show off his funny side.
We’re talking about friendly glances here, usually paired with a smile. Steer clear of a Christian guy—or any guy—who gives you an aggressive or creepy stare-down.
He turns his body, from head to toe, directly towards you. He keeps his arms visible and to his sides in an “open” gesture. He removes obstacles between you, such as a bag that’s resting on the table. He leans in towards you, or subtly shuffles (if standing) or slides (if sitting) closer to you. He reaches out to touch you in a non-threatening, non-sexualized way, such as by lightly touching your forearm as you both laugh at a joke.
If you notice that he wears the best of his “Sunday best” outfits when you’re around, that’s another strong sign that he’s trying to look extra-good for you! While this isn’t true in all cases, a Christian guy may be more fidgety and nervous in this situation than the average guy. Why? He may put more pressure on himself to handle his attraction toward you in a respectful fashion.
