The no contact rule typically lasts 30 days, but it may be best to stick to the no contact rule indefinitely when moving on from a narcissistic relationship. [2] X Research source It’s difficult for a narcissist to feel empathy and reciprocate feelings, so they turn to manipulation to form the relationship they want. Not communicating with a narcissist will break this manipulation and help you connect with your feelings as an individual.
Build boundaries to protect yourself from further abuse rather than building them to keep people out. For example, keep some personal information like your fears to yourself when meeting new people, but don’t be afraid to express your interests. Vocalize your boundaries by telling your ex, “You can’t treat me this way,” or, “I don’t have to listen to your abuse. ” Prioritize self-care when establishing your boundaries by focusing on your needs first.
Anger can help you see the wrongs in the relationship, but it won’t help you heal emotionally. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to let your ex off the hook. They hurt you, and you don’t need to forget it. What you do need is to forgive yourself.
Your reasons can be specific to the relationship or about personal growth. For example, you can write, “I want to move on because they made me feel bad about my cooking,” or, “I want to move on because I deserve love and respect. ” Save the list on your phone or keep it in your favorite notebook. Refer back to the list when you start having self-doubts or your ex tries to contact you.
Try not to rush the need to start dating again. Protect yourself by making sure you’re ready to be in a new relationship. [9] X Research source [10] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020. Being ready to date again will look different for everyone. Perhaps your narcissistic ex isn’t on your mind anymore, you feel confident, or you meet someone special. Remember, recovery isn’t linear. Go at your own pace and do what you think is right.
All of your feelings are valid, so let them come and go. Think of each emotion as a new wave in the healing process. Waves crash and fall, but they eventually leave with the tide. Your ex most likely won’t share your grief. They might miss the praise and admiration, but they’ll find it easy to move on. Don’t take this personally as this is not a reflection of your worth, but a reflection of their egotistical behavior.
Every feeling you’re feeling is valid, even if it contradicts what you think you should be feeling. Acknowledge your emotions, feel them, and let them go. Try filling that emptiness with something else like a craft, new pet, or time with friends.
Chase the dreams your ex made you forget. Explore the hobbies your ex thought were silly. Do whatever makes you happy!
Self-forgiveness is an important part of loving yourself. Forgive yourself for all your self-doubts, and push aside lingering negative thoughts.
Think about how you describe yourself to others. Are you a painter? A student? Ask yourself what you mean to people you care about. Are you a sibling? A best friend? Consider how you view yourself by asking yourself, “Who am I?” and, “What do I like?”
No matter what your ex may have told you, you’re not alone. Apologize to those your ex may have hurt. Taking the time to talk to your friends and family members about the abuse can help mend your relationship with them. [18] X Research source It can be difficult to trust after a narcissistic relationship. Fear might make you want to push loved ones away, but know not everyone is going to hurt you. [19] X Research source
If you’re a victim of narcissistic domestic violence abuse, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1(800)799-7233. [21] X Trustworthy Source National Domestic Violence Hotline Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse Go to source If you need help on your healing journey, contact The Center For Hope at (716)955-9658. [22] X Research source
