Keep an ear out for phrases like, “You always…” and, “You never…” Sweeping statements like these are often overgeneralizations, and it probably means that the person you’re dating is exaggerating to make your actions seem worse.

They might even try to spin it around and blame you. [4] X Expert Source Jason Polk, LCSW, LACRelationship Counselor Expert Interview. 11 February 2022. For instance, if you said something like, “Why didn’t you call me last night? I was worried sick,” they might say, “Well, you never answer your phone anyway. It’s your fault I didn’t call. ” Similarly, you might feel like your partner never listens to you or your needs. This is another sign of toxic behavior, and a big relationship red flag. Ultimately, they’ll never be accountable for themselves and their side of the relationship. [5] X Expert Source Jason Polk, LCSW, LACRelationship Counselor Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.

You might also see your date using their emotions to get out of something. Maybe whenever you get mad at them, they start crying (in a very dramatic way) so you feel bad for them. Or, if you call out something they did wrong, they’ll act really sad and say things like, “You probably hate me, don’t you?”

They might also try to guilt you into staying home with them instead of going out with your friends. [9] X Expert Source Jason Polk, LCSW, LACRelationship Counselor Expert Interview. 11 February 2022. You could hear things like, “But I’ll miss you so much!” or, “I thought you liked hanging out with me?”

Controlling behavior can be a sign that your partner is abusive. If you feel like your partner is controlling your life, get help right away. [11] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source They may also try to control who you hang out with. [12] X Expert Source Jason Polk, LCSW, LACRelationship Counselor Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.

After spending time with your family, your partner might complain about how often you see them or how much of your time they take up.

They might even blame you for things that they did. For instance, if they forgot to buy milk at the store, your partner might say, “Well, you didn’t remind me. ” Or, if your partner was late to work, they might say, “You didn’t wake me up on time. ”

For instance, if you put on a new outfit, they might say, “Wow, that looks really nice. That was so in style 5 years ago. ” If you ask them what’s wrong, they’ll probably just say, “I’m fine. ”

A classic example of this is someone calling all of their exes “crazy. ” If everyone that they have dated in the past is crazy, they’re probably shifting a lot of the blame onto their past partners (and not taking any responsibility for their own part). You might also hear about their terrible friends or how everyone in their life lets them down.

For instance, after you finish talking, a toxic person might say, “So, you do know how to speak coherently. Good job!” Or, they might tell you to “Calm down,” or, “Take it easy,” whenever you get slightly emotional.

Your partner might say things like, “You’re so stupid,” or, “Do you ever use that brain of yours?” Toxic people will also often take things out on you. If your partner comes home angry, they might yell or scream at you, even if you haven’t done anything wrong.

People also tend to feel resigned to their relationship fate once they’ve been in a toxic relationship for a while. Remember that you deserve a happy, healthy partnership, not one that makes you feel bad.