For example, you might say, “I really appreciate that you took the kids out of the house for a few hours so I could get a break,” or, “You’re such a great cook. Thanks for making dinner tonight. "
Your spouse might need some space so a thoughtful gesture could be getting out of your home for the day so he’s got it all to himself. Think back to things they’ve talked about. Maybe they mentioned wanting to try a new Chinese place. You could surprise them by picking up takeout one night. Your spouse will not only appreciate the food, but also the fact that you listened and remembered something they wanted.
Is life too busy for dates or quality time? At least make a point of checking in with each other every day. Even a genuine, “What was your day like?” or, “How are you feeling?” can help you feel connected. Keep in mind that having personal space is important, too. If you’ve spent a lot of time around each other or your spouse is stressed, they might want some time or space for themselves.
For instance, go out for a karaoke night, hit a comedy show, or play a ridiculous card game.
Again, these don’t have to be huge displays of affection. Even just sitting next to your spouse and putting your arm around them can let them know that you care for them.
You can also show that you listened by saying something like, “It sounds like work is really stressing you out,” or, “I’m so happy that the project seems to be working out for you. " If your spouse wants to talk about a difficult subject, try to practice open body language. Keep your arms uncrossed, face the other person, and don’t fidget when they talk.
For example, you might hear your spouse say they’re frustrated and tired. You might say, “I didn’t know you were feeling this way. What can I do to help?” Use a calm tone of voice when you speak with your spouse and don’t get defensive. Let them speak without interrupting and look for ways to compromise.
You could say something like, “I really can’t talk about this right now. I need a little time to think things through. " It can help to establish boundaries within your relationship. You both might agree that calling each other names or making personal attacks is off-limits. Setting healthy boundaries can make it easier to communicate without hurting each other’s feelings.
Not sure what to say? Even a simple, “I’m disappointed that this happened, but I love you and I forgive you,” tells your spouse that you care about them and are willing to move on together.
Sometimes, your spouse just needs you to be there to listen and that’s fine, too! You might say, “I’m always here if you ever want to bounce ideas off of me. "
For instance, it might bother you that you’re always picking up their dirty socks, but instead of letting it bother you, remind yourself that your spouse always does a chore that you dislike. Plus, you know that you’ve got habits that irritate your spouse, too.
Self-care could mean eating more nutritious food, taking time to read a good book, going out for a jog, or meeting up with friends. The point is to do something that makes you feel happier and better about yourself.
