Just keep in mind, throat clearing could also be the result of regular nerves or stress, especially if you two are having a tense conversation.
A complex lie involves having to make up a big explanation about why something happened or describe a series of events. A simple lie (that won’t cause liars to hesitate as much) could involve lying about what someone looked like or the food someone ate. Conversations between two cooperating people tend to fall into a comfortable rhythm. [6] X Research source Trust your gut if you feel like someone is taking just one or two beats too long to respond—they might be lying!
Filler words also include: “so,” “you know,” “ah,” and “like. ” Just remember that some people naturally use filler words more than other people. Keep that in mind when you compare their “um” count to the average.
Pay attention to someone’s overuse of conditional words like “could have,” “might have been,” “should have” instead of straightforward words like “can,” “was,” and “did. ” For instance, a statement like, “Well, I guess I just forgot Jamie and I had made plans” sounds less honest than “I forgot Jamie and I had made plans. ”
For instance, if you ask your partner, “What were you doing Friday night?” and they respond “We went out,” that’s a suspiciously short answer. If someone at work says, “Most of the shipments got approved,” but they can’t estimate the number of approved shipments or tell you when they did it, that person might not be telling the truth.
If your friend is usually talkative, but you notice they seem shut down and uncommunicative, something could be up. If a family member normally talks in a relaxed tone, but they suddenly start using formal language with you, they could be lying.
They might act victimized. For instance, they might say something like, “You always bring up these wild accusations about what I’m up to after work!” They might insist you’re being too sensitive. Watch out for people who say things like, “You’re just being paranoid. ” They might minimize or rationalize their bad behavior. For example, a lying manager might say, “I didn’t give you credit for closing that sale because it was a team effort, and you wouldn’t have been able to do it without our new software. ”
“Could we stick to this conversation? I’d really like to understand where you’re coming from. ” “I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while, could we address this now?” “I feel pretty stressed about this. Can we come up with a solution?”
The best way to deal with sarcasm is to ignore it and respond with an earnest statement. [18] X Research source If someone laughs off what you’re saying, you can say, “I know it seems like a weird topic to bring up, but I really would like some answers. ”
For instance, if you think your boyfriend is cheating on you, you could ask, “Were you with Marissa on Friday night?” If you’re concerned a friend is lying to you about excluding you, say something like, “Are you and the group going to the movies on Saturday?”
“I’m feeling a disconnect in what we’re telling each other. Where do you think that’s coming from?”[21] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 8 April 2021. “Can you explain what happened on Friday when you left early? The texts you sent me felt pretty angry, even though you’ve said everything’s fine. ” “Hey, I noticed your timecard doesn’t quite seem right. Could you tell me a little bit about what’s been going on?”
