If you’ve just met, give him time and space. Wait for him to reach out, and focus on yourself in the meantime. By not engaging in his games, you’re showing that you know your worth and won’t tolerate coldness. If you’ve been dating for a while, describe how his behavior makes you feel and ask for the behavior you’d like to see instead. For example, “I feel hurt and confused when you get distant. Could talk about what’s going on and schedule regular time together so we can connect more?”[2] X Research source
If you don’t know each other well, check out his texting patterns over a few days. Look to see if he regularly starts conversations with you—that’s a good sign he’s really interested! If your guy ghosts you or leaves you on read more than a couple of times, your best bet is to move on. [4] X Research source If you’re dating, let him know that you’d like more consistent communication. Say something like, “I’d love it if we could check in over text once a day or so. How do you feel about that?”
If you don’t want to text first, wait up to 3 days after the date and see if he texts you. Some guys might still be operating under the outdated assumption that they have to wait a certain amount of time before asking for a second date. [6] X Research source Reach out to him and take the initiative. Pick up the conversation where you left off by bringing up something from your date, and mention hanging out again. You could send a message like, “Hey, I still can’t believe you beat me at foosball. Can I get a rematch?”
Set boundaries for what you will and won’t accept in your dating life. [8] X Research source Ask yourself, “If this behavior were still happening in one year, would I be okay with it?” If the answer’s no, it’s a good idea to address the situation. [9] X Research source Assert your boundaries by expressing what’s important to you, rather than blaming him. For instance, you could say something like, “I’d really like it if you could stick to our plans. That way I know when I’ll get to see you because I really value our time together. ”
If you just met and you’ve noticed he prefers to “Netflix and chill” rather than go out, he might not be interested in a committed relationship. This is especially true if your conversations tend to stay pretty superficial or sexual in nature. [11] X Research source If you’ve been dating for a while, try to reignite the romance. Ask your guy if he’s down to try a new hobby with you, check out a new restaurant, or boost the romantic ambiance on your next date night with some candles and music. [12] X Research source
Give him time and focus on building trust. Some people find it hard to commit because of past relationship issues, and they just move at a slower pace. [15] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Communicate openly about what you want from the relationship. [16] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. He might not know whether or not it’s important to you to be exclusive and DTR. Say something like, “I’d really like to make our relationship official. How do you feel about that?” End the relationship if you two can’t agree. Sometimes, couples just don’t work out because of differing expectations. If you can’t find common ground, just remember there’s someone else out there for you.
Move on if he gets jealous of your friends. It’s normal and good for your well-being to maintain healthy friendships. Leave the relationship if his jealous behavior crosses into demanding behavior or accusations.
Try to encourage him to talk by saying, “If you ever want to talk, I’m here. ” Build trust by expressing appreciation. For instance, you could say, “I’m so grateful for you, and I really appreciate that you were there for me today. ” Be vulnerable and share your own feelings. You could say something like, “I had a really rough day at work today. I wanted to get your thoughts on what I should do. ”
Talk to your partner about how it feels when he doesn’t follow through and what you’d like to see him do differently. [22] X Research source Steer clear of guys who shower you with compliments and promises when you first start dating. That behavior is called “love bombing,” and it’s a technique narcissists use to get you to trust them. [23] X Research source
Check in with how you feel about the relationship overall. Romantic jealousy tends to get worse when you already feel insecure or uncertain about a relationship. [26] X Research source Let him know the behavior bothers you. Say something like, “Seeing you talk with your ex makes me feel pretty insecure. Could we talk about this?”
Just say something like, “I’ve noticed you’re not into holding hands in public. What are your comfort levels for PDA?” Check in with him before you try and touch him in public. For instance, you could ask, “Is it okay if I kiss you? Or should I wait?”
Wait for him to initiate sex and avoid criticizing or blaming him. [30] X Research source Engage in other forms of touch like cuddling and kissing, without expecting sex.
