Introverted (I): An INFJ needs time to herself in order to recharge her energy. Intuitive (N): An INFJ is more interested in abstract ideas than everyday experiences. Feeling-oriented (F): An INFJ uses her emotions to guide her rather than logic. Judgment-oriented (J): An INFJ is organized and prefers plans to playing things by ear.
Matching an INFJ’s excellent listening skills with your own can make her feel comfortable and secure. For example, if an INFJ is spending her time doing community service, ask her to tell you about her day and show genuine interest in her excitement over helping others. Providing her with affirmation that you understand her passions can make her feel loved. For instance, say something like, “I really admire the amount of work you put into caring for others. ”
Making her a playlist of some songs that remind you of her Offering her help on her projects or work Sending her a “thinking of you” message Giving her a hug if she’s comfortable with one
Cooking her dinner when she’s tired after a long day Helping clean up her home Offering her transportation when she needs it Taking care of errands for her
Checking out a library book you think she’d like Sending her an article about a cause she’s interested in Talking with her about a documentary you watched Visiting a museum together and discussing the exhibits
If an INFJ isn’t texting or calling you as much as you’d like, try not to take it personally—she might be a bit caught in her own head, but this doesn’t mean she doesn’t value you. INFJs are quite romantic, so even a “good morning” or “good night” message is something that she’ll like to see pop up on her phone. INFJs are often quite busy, so send her a list of times that you’d want to do something with her rather than popping up at the last minute—she’ll appreciate your organization skills.
As an introvert (I) type, an INFJ can feel really drained after parties or nights out at lively bars, so it’s best to make sure you’re spending plenty of time in private together. An INFJ might feel the need to withdraw from you and have some time completely to herself. Try not to worry about this—she might care for you really deeply, but she also needs time to recharge. INFJs might push themselves to make you happy, so give her the opportunity to take some space. For example, say: “I’d love to keep hanging out, but if you want some quiet time, I understand. ”
INFJs are excellent writers and readers who respond well to things like love letters. Try writing her a romantic note or text message. For an easy and powerful intimacy-building exercise, set aside a couple of minutes to simply look into each other’s eyes. Try revisiting places that have meaning for the two of you—where you first met, had your first date, or anywhere else that feels special. She’ll likely enjoy these nostalgic feelings.
Taking an art class together Visiting an under-the-radar scenic location Planning a long-distance drive Stargazing on a clear night
Being a shoulder for her to cry on (if she needs to) Talking her through her feelings Giving her space when she needs it, without judgment Not shaming her for being sensitive, since it’s what makes her special
Even if it’s hard, avoid lying to an INFJ—if she finds out, she’ll question your authenticity, and it will be extremely difficult to repair the relationship. INFJs are likely to avoid conflict even when they’re upset. But if there’s something that seems to be bothering you or her, it’s important to have a candid conversation. Try opening an honest conversation about difficulties in your relationship by saying something like, “I love and care about you, and it seems like there’s something on your mind. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
For an INFJ, honestly talking about future plans is exciting and a sign that you’re the right person for her. An INFJ is an intuitive (N) type, which means that she is often thinking about future possibilities. If a long-term relationship isn’t realistic for either of you, it’s time to have an honest conversation.
