Try something like, “Have you ever thought about having a threesome?” or, “What if, hypothetically, we invited someone else into the bedroom?”
“It wouldn’t all be about me, it would be about you, too. Think about how much fun we could have trying this new experience together. ”
Bring this up by saying something like, “Hey honey, I was thinking we could spice things up a little tonight. How do you feel about doing something a little different?” If an in-person sex shop is a bit much, try browsing online and ordering something to your home. If your girlfriend is open to it, you could also try watching porn together. Find a few that include three ways so she can see it happening on screen before you bring it up.
You can tell her this by saying, “If we were to do this, you’d have total control. If you ever felt weird or uncomfortable, we’d stop everything right away. ”
In general, having a three way with a stranger is less messy than doing it with a friend that you might still see at social functions. But it’s up to you and your girlfriend to decide who you’re comfortable with. You can ask someone if they’re open to a three way by saying something like, “Hey, my girlfriend and I were thinking of spicing things up a bit. How do you feel about being our third?”
Some people only want to have an MFF three way if they can also have an MFM three way. It’s up to you to decide if you’re comfortable with this, but your girlfriend might feel like it’s more fair that way.
Many gender diverse or queer people prefer to wear a strap-on or use other toys to affirm their gender identity/sexuality, penetrate a partner, or simply because they want to. Don’t be surprised about this.
For instance, is your girlfriend comfortable with you penetrating another woman? How about oral? What is your girlfriend comfortable with doing to another person? Be sure to discuss protection, too. If you’re using condoms, bring multiple so that you can put on a new condom before entering someone else. It’s a good idea to have everyone get an STD test before a three way, just in case.
You could say something like, “I just want you to know that having a three way won’t affect how we feel about each other. You’re my number one, and you always will be no matter what. ”
Say things like, “How are you feeling about this?” and, “You feel okay so far?” Be sure to check in with your other three way partner, too. Make sure they’re feeling comfortable and calm so everyone has a good time.
If you and your girlfriend are having trouble working through your issues, consider making an appointment with a couple’s counselor.
