You can be transparent about why you need time. For example, “I don’t want to respond right now because I’m upset and don’t want to say anything I’ll regret later. ” You might need a few minutes, hours, or even days to feel ready to respond to a mean text message with a clear mind. Take your time. You should tell the other person you’re taking some time to think, rather than not saying anything at all. You don’t want them to think you’re ignoring them!
It could be that the other person didn’t realize they were hurting your feelings! Asking this could lead to an apology. You don’t want to get into an argument or write someone off over an accidental miscommunication. You might read a “mean” text differently after you let your initial emotional reaction pass and look at it again with fresh eyes.
“Could you tell me what I did to upset you?” “I think I deserve to know why you’re angry with me. ” “I don’t like this tension between us. Can we talk?” “Is there something I can apologize for?” “Please tell me what I can do to fix things. ”
“Where is this coming from?” “I won’t take this personally. Just tell me what’s wrong. ” “This is about ___, isn’t it?” “I don’t understand why you’re being mean to me. ” “This really isn’t like you. Is everything ok?”
“I hope you find yourself in a better place soon. ” “You don’t have to be mean to others to feel better about yourself. ” “I won’t hold this against you because I know you don’t really mean it. ” “We both know you didn’t need to say that, right?” “You’re so much better than this!”
“What do you want me to say to that?” “How do you think that makes me feel?” “Are you trying to get a reaction out of me?” “Do you feel better after saying that?” “Was that really necessary?”
“You didn’t have to say that. ” “You’re being immature. ” “Don’t be mean for the sake of being mean. ” “I don’t want to get into an argument with you, so I won’t say anything. ” “I’m not going to entertain this. ”
“I feel disrespected when you say that I’m lazy because I work really hard. ” “I feel disrespected when you say that I’m unpopular because I know I have plenty of friends. ” “I feel disrespected when you say that I’m ugly because I feel beautiful in my own skin. ”
This isn’t you being mean back. This is you standing up for yourself! This is a good response to cyberbullies and trolls who might not feel remorse about making you feel bad. Jerks like these aren’t worth having a conversation with.
You should only publicly share these screenshots for the safety and awareness of other people who interact with this person. If you feel really unsafe, use these screenshots as evidence of harassment and show them to your authorities: parents, teachers, bosses, or even law enforcement.
If you ignore their texts or block their number, they might turn to other mediums to bully you through, like social media. Block them on everything, if possible.
