You might be annoyed that your partner consistently leaves their dirty clothes on the floor. Maybe you need to have a clean room to feel relaxed, and their messiness makes you feel like they’re not respecting your needs. Perhaps your partner frequently leaves the TV on when they’re not watching it. If you’ve told them that this bothers you, you may be more frustrated that they didn’t listen to you or value your request. Maybe your partner doesn’t help out enough with household tasks. If you were expected to clean up after your family growing up, you might be frustrated because you don’t want this dynamic to continue in your relationship.
Maybe your partner forgot to pick up a key ingredient for dinner. It may be frustrating, but will this bother you a year from now? Consider letting it go and trying out a different recipe (or making a quick trip to the store together). This practice can help you pick your battles in a relationship. If you do think an issue will bother you a year from now, for example, then it’s worth addressing with your partner.
Practicing deep breathing can help you relax in moments of stress, high anxiety, or frustration. After taking some deep breaths, you’ll be less tempted to lash out over something small or out of your control.
Perhaps you’re not a big fan of the way your partner organizes the kitchen cabinet. You might prefer your own method, but is it worth getting upset over? Experiment with letting it slide and see how you feel.
Before reacting, consider what your partner has been dealing with lately. If they were short with you, for example, were they under a lot of stress that day? If they forgot to do the dishes, were they super busy with work?
Maybe your partner doesn’t have the best sense of direction and took a wrong turn while driving to work. Rather than getting upset, remind yourself that they simply made a mistake and you’ll be back on track in a few minutes. Perhaps your partner forgot to switch out the laundry like they said they would (again). Before reacting, try to remember that your partner is trying their best.
You might be super organized, but your partner may struggle with organization. Rather than getting frustrated or trying to change them, accept this about them and remember their other strengths.
Your partner may not know what they’re doing is upsetting you. They may be happy to compromise or make some adjustments going forward!
Use I-statements to avoid making your partner defensive. Try, “I know there’s a lot on your plate right now, but I feel a little frustrated that I’ve been doing all the dishes lately. " Suggest a solution and ask for your partner’s point of view. Try, “I think it might help if we took turns doing the dishes. Would that work for you?”
Get plenty of rest, exercise regularly, and eat healthy foods. Taking good care of your body can help boost your mood and manage relationship setbacks with a more positive point of view. Practice mindfulness or meditation. Both can help you relax and put your thoughts in perspective. Try writing in a journal to decompress and get your feelings out in a healthy way. [8] X Research source
