“Can you imagine what it would feel like if your teeth dragged against concrete?” “I wonder what it feels like to have centipedes crawl in your nose. ” “Moist. ” The word “moist” is a notorious creator of cringe. It just brings up all kinds of icky feelings for some people.
“You know what they call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener. ” “I was going to go to the circus, but I didn’t. I heard it was too in-tents. ” “What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta. ”
Bonus points here if you can make the face while they aren’t looking and then get them to look at you.
If you aren’t hungry, chew on some bubblegum! You can also just make any kind of sucking, popping, or sloshing sound with your mouth, if you prefer.
Keep the gag going by leaning into your target and asking them if they can help you find the “food” you’re trying to get at. If you’re feeling especially gross, pick something out of your nose instead.
If you want to protect your nails, you can achieve a similar sound by dragging chalk in the opposite direction you’d use to write with it. If your school has whiteboards instead, try dragging a dead marker against the board over and over again. If you’re nowhere near a chalkboard, try dragging a knife against a ceramic plate.
“So, doctor, is it infected?. . . I don’t know, it still smells like ham, so…oh, yeah. Okay…. but do I need to scrape the toe fungus off, first?” “Look, mom, I promise I’ll be back by noon, but you have to let me go to the dollhouse expo…I’ve been waiting all year…I even brought all of my dolls with me to school today!” “Listen, I dressed up as Santa last year. I was the Easter Bunny this year, there’s no way you’re convincing me to dress up like Cupid, dad…no…especially not with the baby bow. ”
Just keep it casual. Say something like, “Hey Kevin, do you remember that time you asked Melissa out and she just giggled?” You might say, “You know what I remembered the other day? That time you slipped during the big game and gave up the ball. That was such an unfortunate event!”
“You know, I think it’s time we recognize just how good of a friend Kate is. She really is the most loyal, beautiful, and compassionate person. Everyone give it up for Kate!” “Gary, you know what…you really are the most stylish person I know. Look at those fancy socks, those beautiful cufflinks. Everyone, come look at Gary!”
