If you’re feeling stressed or worked up after talking to a mean person, take a deep breath in and count to 10 before letting it out.

You can try saying something like, “So what you’re saying is…” to make sure you understand what they mean.

You might never fully understand mean people, and that’s okay. Give them the benefit of the doubt to maintain your sanity and make the world seem a little more kind.

For instance, maybe a friend says, “You’re so weird. ” Are they actually being mean, or are they calling you weird as a term of endearment? Or, maybe a colleague tells you, “You need to have those reports done by the end of the day. ” They might have sounded mean to you, but actually, they were just telling you the facts so that you don’t get in trouble.

You won’t always have the chance to bring a buddy along when you encounter a rude person, but when you can, it really helps!

For instance, after a mean comment, you might think, “Wow, I could really make a nasty remark back right now. But, I’m going to be the bigger person and just laugh that one off. ” If a stranger was rude to you, just remember that’s all they are—a stranger. Their words and actions have no bearing on your life. [9] X Expert Source Tami ClaytorEtiquette Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.

You can even respond to their mean comments with something funny! For instance, if they say something like, “I hate that shirt you’re wearing,” you might say, “Wow, I didn’t know you were so involved in the fashion world. Got any more tips for me?”

To call them out in the moment, try something like, “Hey, that wasn’t very nice. ” If a friend was mean to you, calmly explain how it made you feel. You might say, “What you said really upset me, but I value our friendship. Can we talk about making sure this doesn’t happen again?"[12] X Expert Source Tami ClaytorEtiquette Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.

Just try not to stoop down to their level and start making mean comments back. This probably won’t make you feel any better, and it can make your relationship with this person much worse.