Next time you think something like “I’m so stupid” or “I look terrible” replace those thoughts with something positive. Try, “I made a mistake that I can learn from now. I’m a smart and capable person” or “I’m beautiful on the inside and out. "
Pursuing your interests also helps lead you to like-minded people who enjoy the same things. These new connections can lead to romantic love or an equally fulfilling platonic relationship.
Being yourself can be hard at first. If you’re still figuring out who you are, that’s totally okay! Keep pursuing what makes you happy, avoid the urge to compare yourself to other people, and embrace what makes you unique.
Avoid listening to people just to think of your response. Instead, take a moment after the person is done speaking to think of what you’ll say next.
It can feel pretty vulnerable to tell someone how much you appreciate them. Try something simple like, “You’re the funniest person I’ve ever met” or “You always make me smile. " An example of an “I” statement would be, “I feel a little hurt when you text while I’m talking. I know you don’t mean anything by it, but it’d make me feel better if we didn’t text while we talked to each other. " Part of cultivating loving, healthy relationships is getting through conflict together. When in doubt, try to empathize with the other person’s perspective and come up with a solution that you both feel good about.
If a friend of yours mentions that they had a bad day, see if there’s anything you can do to help. You might say, “I’m sorry you’re upset. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Other things you can do to be nice to new people include saying hello, complimenting them, and asking them how their day is going.
If you live close to your family, see if they’d like to make dinner together a few times a month. If they live out of town, try calling and catching up over the phone. If you have a contentious relationship with your family, it’s okay to need some space. You might try investing more time in your friendships or seeking out new friendships with people in your community instead. You might try getting coffee or going for a walk with a friend a few times a week. Be open to new friendships. If an interesting coworker asks if you’d like to hang out after work, try accepting the invitation.
Social media can be a great place to find a community. Look up accounts related to your interests, like art, music, or pop culture, and reach out to people with like-minded passions. By working together with others in a community, you’ll foster loving relationships with others who share similar goals and values.
If dating apps aren’t your style, you can meet potential romantic partners anywhere. Try making conversations with people at the supermarket, community events, and bars. If you start seeing someone, cultivate a loving relationship with them by making time for each other, practicing open communication, and maintaining your outside interests and friendships. Dating has its ups and downs for everyone. If you experience rejection, remind yourself that everyone does at some point. Always remember that you’re worthy of love and keep being yourself. The right person will love you for you.
Perhaps you’ve only had partners that treated you poorly. Remember that everyone deserves a kind, loving partner. Try evaluating what dynamics you didn’t like about your past relationships to figure out what you’re looking for in a future relationship. If you’re past partner was dismissive of your goals and ambitions, for example, focus your attention on people who build you up and make you feel good about your big dreams.
A mental health professional may work with you to explore your past relationships and how they may have affected your self-image and the relationships you seek now. Seeking help from a mental health professional is not only totally normal, it’s a healthy, brave act of self-love. Try your best not to feel any shame about seeking counseling.
