To build your self-esteem, try keeping a journal of your thoughts or repeating a mantra to yourself daily, like, “I am worthy, I am lovable, I am strong. ”
If you’d like to save sex until marriage, say something like, “Sex is a really important part of any relationship, and it’s a big commitment. I’d like to wait until we’re married to cross that threshold. ” Or, you might decide to wait until you’re in a serious, committed relationship before having sex. If that’s the case, try something like, “I really like you, and I’d like to see where this goes. I’d also like to wait until we’re exclusive to have sex, because that would make me feel more comfortable. ”
For instance, instead of giving a detailed history of your past, you might say, “I’ve worked on myself a lot, and I really like who I am today. ”
If you and your partner live together, be sure to talk about how you’re going to split the chores and household responsibilities. Otherwise, you might end up taking on more than your fair share.
For instance, if you’re a vegetarian and your partner isn’t, skip the steakhouse and go somewhere that has food options for the both of you. If you want to live in the city but your partner loves the country, try splitting the difference and getting a place in the suburbs. It’s okay to put your own needs first sometimes, too. You can try to compromise most of the time, but don’t be afraid to prioritize yourself every now and then.
When you combine finances, your partner’s money decisions become your own. If you aren’t married by law yet, you could lose a lot of money if your partner decides to make a big purchase or investment.
Even if you’ve promised each other that you’ll get married, it’s not the same as actually being married.
People can usually change in small ways, like how often they exercise or how much TV they watch. But your partner’s morals and values are most likely there to stay.
Maybe your partner snapped at you when they got home from work. You might think, “Well, they had a long day today. ” That might be true, but you can also say, “I don’t appreciate it when you take that tone with me. I know you had a tough day, but you don’t need to take it out on me. ”
Try joining a local hobby group or club to meet new people who have your same interests.
Make sure you’re talking to people that you trust will give you the honest truth. Asking someone who doesn’t have your best interest in mind might just steer you down the wrong path.
