It’s okay to excuse yourself and take a few deep breaths when you get worked up. If you need to do more, take a short walk to get your body moving. Massage areas of tension to help yourself calm down. [1] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Adopt a confident posture with your back straight, chest forward, and arms uncrossed. [2] X Research source Make eye contact with your ex and pay attention to their expression to get a feel for their emotional state. Build self-esteem by cutting out negative self-talk, forgiving yourself for your mistakes, and encouraging yourself to grow and learn new things. By the time you face your ex, you’ll be feeling great about yourself. [3] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
If you want to move on from your ex, you can be polite and civil without pretending that you will hang out regularly, which could come across as fake.
Normal conversations with your ex should stay drama and negativity-free. If you want to have a deep discussion about your relationship, plan it out beforehand and go somewhere you can talk privately. [4] X Research source
If you need to get out of a conversation, say something like, “I’ve got to go meet Casey for lunch. I’ll catch you later, okay?” Alternatively, you could say, “I’ve got so much homework it isn’t even funny! I should go get a head start on it now, but I’m glad we were able to chat for a bit. See ya!”
Resist the urge to talk negatively about your ex to other people when you’re with a larger crowd. It probably won’t make you feel better, and other people may think it’s disrespectful. [6] X Research source Let yourself feel sad when you see your ex at social events but don’t let it ruin your day. You deserve to enjoy yourself!
Stay in larger groups when you can. Any awkwardness between you and your ex will be less visible in groups.
Play it cool if your ex gets a new date, too. Introductions will probably be awkward for all of you, so be polite and easygoing throughout the exchange. When meeting your ex’s date, or introducing yours, remember that everyone wants to get through the interaction as calmly—and probably quickly—as possible, and in that way, you are all on the same side.
Boundaries are important because they’ll serve as guidelines for your new friendship. Decide what you’re comfortable saying and doing with your ex and how much physical and emotional space you want between you. [9] X Research source Make sure you’re pursuing a friendship for the right reasons. If you’re secretly trying to get back together with your ex, it’s better to have a conversation with them about it than pretend to see them as a friend. [10] X Research source If your ex keeps blowing hot and then cold, it’s better to steer clear of them. You don’t need to get invested in someone who doesn’t show you the respect you deserve!
