Work on a mutual project you’ve wanted to accomplish. Take a language class together. Go for a walk or jog after dinner. Have a picnic the next time the weather’s nice. Watch a local comedian and laugh together. Go on a day trip and explore a nearby town.
When you two talk, you also give each other your undivided attention. For instance, your spouse will put down their phone or get off their laptop when you want to tell them something.
Acts of kindness don’t have to be huge! You could leave a sweet note, pack a lunch for your spouse, compliment them in front of others, or call them during the day to see how they’re doing.
In healthy marriages, neither partner will threaten the other with divorce or withhold affection.
For example, if your spouse is running late, don’t think, “He can never be on time. He’s never considerate enough to check in with me,” tell yourself, “Traffic must be bad today. I know he said he’d try to make it home on time. "
For instance, you could play innocent pranks on your spouse, surprise them with a weekend getaway, or take them to a show they’ve wanted to see.
Keep in mind that some people have a stronger need for physical touch while others are more reserved. Try to find a good balance of what you and your partner need in your marriage.
Being emotionally close means that you’re vulnerable, but you trust your partner to respect and listen to you.
For example, instead of saying, “You never help around the house. You just don’t appreciate what I do!” you could say, “Can we talk about household chores later? I’m feeling really stressed out. "
If you can’t forgive your spouse and choose to hold a grudge, you’ll have a hard time emotionally connecting with them in the future. Not sure how to forgive them? You might say, “I’m really hurt by what you did, but I love you and I want to get through this together. "
For instance, you could say, “Hey, thank you for making dinner tonight. It was wonderful,” or, “Thanks for picking up the kids today. It really made my day easier. "
