If she wants to vent about her divorce, let her. Even if it kind of stings a bit as you hear your crush talking about another guy/girl, it’s important to be there for her. Divorce is pretty time consuming. If you make your move when she’s still working through the divorce, she may shut you down just purely because a relationship is impractical!
This applies to whether you’ve taken her on a date or not. Just be a productive, helpful person. She’ll appreciate it, and you’ll avoid getting the cold shoulder. Ask her if she needs anything! Shoot her a text like, “Hey, I know you’re going through a lot and I’ve been thinking of you. Is there anything I can do?”
Be casual and low-key about it. If she declines an offer, tell her, “No worries!” and move on. If you’re too pushy, she may feel like you’re putting pressure on her.
Women want a partner who smells nice. If you aren’t in the habit of wearing cologne or perfume, now is a good time to start! You shouldn’t put on an act or dress in a dramatically different style—a divorced woman is wise enough to see through an act. Just make sure your clothes are clean, fit well, and that you aren’t hanging out with them in sweatpants and flip flops.
You could use something like, “I am good enough. I am smart enough,” or, “Nothing bad will happen. I’ve got this. ” Alternatively, you can flex in a mirror to strike a power pose and give your confidence a big temporary boost. It sounds silly, but it’s scientifically proven to work![7] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Avoid overtly-sexual or romantic compliments. A recently divorced woman is going to be weary of getting into anything with a guy or gal who doesn’t have the tact to recognize that they’re probably not in the headspace for a quick fling.
You could try throwing out a fun hypothetical to get things started. Questions like, “If you were trapped on a desert island, what five things would you bring with you?” and “If you could be reincarnated as an animal, which one would you choose?” are fun ways to get things started.
If you aren’t ready for a serious relationship, be clear about it up front. If you’re looking to find Ms. Right, be honest about that, too. So long as you’re honest, sincere, and genuine, you shouldn’t raise any red flags in her book.
If you’re only interested in a fling, make it extremely clear and don’t insert yourself into her personal life. Let her bring up her kids in the context of your relationship. If you start talking about being around her kids but she just thinks this is a casual fling, it might scare her off.
You might say, “I apologize if this is too upfront, but I think you’re a wonderful person and I’d love to take you out sometime. ” For a more casual approach, you could ask, “Hey, do you want to grab a drink this weekend? Just you and me. Let’s hit the town together. ” Divorce can be a disillusioning process. If she is coming out of the marriage knowing exactly what she wants, she probably isn’t going to mind if you’re a little forward or practical about this. Even if she turns you down or says it’s “not the right time,” she won’t hold it against you and may consider it in the future.
She’s likely going to have all kinds of complicated and confused feelings in the aftermath of her divorce, so she’ll appreciate the stability and normalcy. If you ask her out and she goes, “I’d love to, but I have kids and I’m getting divorced, and…” just hit her back with, “Totally. I don’t mind any of that. I’d still like to take you out. If you’re too busy though, I totally get it. ”
