If she maintains the same positive energy the whole time, there’s a much better chance that it’s her genuine personality. If, however, it seems to come and go at the flip of a switch, it’s probably just a workplace affectation. If it’s clear she’s in a bad mood because she’s had her fill of rude customers or a lousy boss, wait for a better time to make your move. Don’t make your job harder than it has to be![2] X Research source
If she seems put off, creeped out, bored, disinterested, or just plain blah about making eye contact with you, don’t bother approaching her. If you notice a bigger glint in her eye or smile on her face than you’ve noticed with other customers, take it as a good sign that you should try to approach. If the results are somewhere in between, trust your gut about what to do next—abort the mission or press ahead.
Come back when the store is slower, but preferably not when it’s completely dead—like right at opening or closing. This might give off a creepy vibe, like you’re waiting until she’s all alone.
Think of it this way: if you’ve determined that you won’t bother her or make a bad day worse for her, what’s the harm in walking up to her and flirting a little?
Try to keep your arms to your sides and your hands visible. This is a non-threatening posture that tends to put people at greater ease. Walking straight up to someone can feel threatening, while coming from an angle—that’s well within their field of vision—is less so.
“Excuse me, do you have this shoe in a size 10, or maybe a similar style in a 10? I really like this kind of design. ” “Hi there. I’m looking to buy a puzzle book for my nephew. Do you have any recommendations?” “Hello. I’ve never been here before, but I hear you guys make the best milkshakes in town. What are your most popular flavors?”
She’s more friendly and positive than she’s been with other customers you’ve observed. She displays positive body language—things like making good eye contact, facing towards you, keeping her arms uncrossed or out of her pockets, and leaning or stepping forward to close the distance between you. She goes well beyond just answering your question and starts building the conversation herself, possibly by asking a non-work-related question.
How frequently should you come back to the store? Let’s put it this way: don’t come so frequently that it’s blatantly obvious you’re there for her, but do come often enough that the thought will cross her mind!
For example, shift from asking about a book you’re looking for to asking about her favorite book, or about what book(s) she’s reading currently. Questions like these can help you find common interests that you’ll both be eager to chat about. [14] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. Or, find a way to give her subtle compliments that indicate you find her intriguing and attractive: “Yeah, I have a hard time finding jeans that fit just right. By the way, those jeans you’re wearing look great. You really have a cool sense of style. ”[15] X Expert Source Christina Jay, NLPDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.
Let her know you really enjoyed talking to her and say you hope to chat some more next time you’re in the store. If she’s just as eager to talk to you next time around, you can continue to build off of your success so far. If you’re sure she’d really like to keep chatting if she wasn’t stuck at work, consider “making your move” right now and giving her a way to get in touch with you when she isn’t working (see the next step below).
Be friendly with some cool confidence when the time comes: “Yeah, too bad you gotta get back to work—do you mind if I give you my number? No pressure or anything, but I’d love to talk more about books and whatever else comes up sometime. ”
