Taking a dance class Going for a hike Arm wrestling Playing video games Playing a sport
Try taking a dance class, cooking a new dish together, or playing a sport neither of you have tried before. [4] X Expert Source Nicole MooreLove & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
Physical touch can actually be good for your overall health, so you’ll both get a benefit beyond the boost to your intimacy. [6] X Research source
Try asking questions like, “What gets you in the mood?” or, “Is there anything you’ve always wanted to try in bed but haven’t done?” Don’t be afraid to initiate sex. It may feel a little awkward if you’re not used to doing it, but it can be as simple as saying, “Hey, want to turn off the TV and go cuddle?"[8] X Expert Source Nicole MooreLove & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. Keep him on his toes by surprising him with a flirty note, a steamy selfie, or by acting out one of his fantasies.
Make it a point to practice being present during conversations, meals, quality time, and special occasions. Try not to get lost in your thoughts while you’re with him—being anxious or focusing too much on the future can make it hard to enjoy the time you’re together, and that can keep you from connecting on a deeper level.
“What’s your favorite childhood memory?” “Where would you go if you could travel anywhere?” “What’s your favorite famous painting?” “What do you picture yourself doing once you retire?”
For instance, if he’s telling a story about work, you might say something like, “Is that the same Jeffrey who brought his cat to the company picnic?” If he’s talking to you about something that happened in his past, you might say, “It sounds like that was a really upsetting time for you. "
“I’m so impressed by how passionate you are about your work. It’s really inspiring to see someone doing what they love. " “You know so much about cars, but when you talk to me about it, I feel like it’s so easy to understand!” “You’re the best listener. I can talk to you about anything. "
Be especially sensitive if he shares any insecurities, fears, or past hurts. It can sometimes be really hard for guys to admit those feelings, because society tells them they need to be strong and stoic. [17] X Expert Source Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFTLicensed Relationship Therapist Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
Are you naturally boisterous? Don’t reign yourself in around him, even if he’s the quiet type! Just be sure to make space for him to express his feelings too. Don’t overthink things—just express what you think and feel sincerely. If you hate action movies, tell him. If you love a song, sing along when it comes on the radio. It can be a little hard to be vulnerable sometimes, but it’s an important part of strengthening the intimacy in your relationship. [20] X Research source
If you feel like your relationship is all about sex and it’s hard for the two of you to be emotionally vulnerable with each other, take a step back. Plan a few daytime outings or other non-sexual dates so you can get to know each other on a more intimate level. [22] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
