Your strength may be that you are very generous and are always there when your partner needs help. How can you continue to be there for your partner in their times of need? If you’re a sensitive person, you might struggle to get through conflict without shutting down and ignoring your partner. How might you try to be more present in your relationship when things get tough? If you’re struggling to reflect, try journaling. Write about your thoughts, feelings, and recent day-to-day life in the relationship to learn more about yourself.
Maybe you would like to be more patient with your partner. For the next 2 weeks, make it your goal to stay calm when your partner is getting on your nerves. Perhaps you want to be more honest with your partner. Your goal can be to tell the truth the next time you’re tempted to hide something
You might say, “I’m so happy to be in this relationship, but I’ve noticed that we’ve been arguing a lot lately. Is there anything I can do to help us see eye to eye?” Asking for honest feedback shows that you are willing to be vulnerable with your partner, and it may encourage them to do the same for you, too.
Maybe your partner is upset that you rescheduled your date. Rather than getting defensive, think about their point of view. Does your partner have a busy schedule? Are they worried that this means that you didn’t want to spend time together? Even if you don’t agree with your partner, acknowledging their perspective can help you diffuse the conflict and keep your response respectful and considerate.
Maybe your partner is upset that you were late to pick them up. Instead of saying, “It’s just because the directions you gave me were wrong,” take responsibility for what happened. Avoid playing the blaming game. To be accountable, you might say, “I completely understand why you’re frustrated. I should have left earlier to give myself more time. " Avoid taking the blame for your partner’s actions. Blaming you for things out of your control is a warning sign of abusive behavior. To learn more, visit loveisrespect. org or thehotline. org. Acceptance is the first step to be more accountable and responsible. We’ve all got a path to follow and evolve. Accept your past and grow from it, without judging your past self.
You might say, “I’m so sorry I haven’t been prioritizing you in my schedule lately. I completely understand how that would hurt. This relationship means so much to me, and I promise to make more time for you going forward. " Make sure that you follow through with your promise by making meaningful changes.
Maybe your partner is texting on a date again. Rather than lashing out, take a moment to consider your feelings and how you might express them in a kind, honest way. That way, you can communicate your feelings with a clear head.
You might say, “I completely understand that you have been busy, but I feel a little hurt when we don’t spend time together throughout the week. How would you feel about making more time to see each other in our schedules?”
If you’re having trouble forgiving yourself, approach the situation like you would when forgiving a friend. If a friend made a mistake but took responsibility for it, would you forgive them? Most likely, you would be happy to. [5] X Research source
If your partner made the pledge to use their phone less on dates, ask if there is anything you can do to encourage them. You might say, “I think that’s a great idea. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
If you and your partner are open to it, consider visiting a couple’s therapist so that you can help keep each other accountable. [8] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
